Estranged father, and struggling to decide to change my name
Dear Brett, First of all, thank you for sharing parts of your difficult relationship with your father growing up. Even though our stories differ, I so much related to your feeling growing up of ‘needing to break the cycle’ , especially in a world where us girls with "daddy issues" are almost expected to be unable to grow a healthy relationship - while this was actually my drive make it happen. Seeing part of my story in yours, and how beautifully your life is flourishing has sparked hope in me- and I hope it will in many more people too! My parents divorced when I was a toddler due to violent circumstances and I’ve barely seen my father outside courtrooms. I have both my parents surnames but I’ve always only signed with my mother’s surname, and this is also my ‘artist name’. Still, I’ve always hesitated to officially remove his surname, concerned I’d be disrespectful or that I’d be erasing a part of my story, wether I like it or not. I have just gotten engaged to my college sweetheart, the most amazing man who has erased all the traces of cynicism towards marriage and relationships that I had earlier in my childhood! I have been struggling with the idea of substituting my father’s surname for my husband’s after we marry (my mother’s surname remaining as my artist name) but I still wonder if it would be wrong. There is a cultural nuance, since my country of origin people always keep multiple surnames, at the very least the father’s last name plus the husband’s last name, for example. Did you ever struggle with having your father’s surname, or anything like this while growing up? And would you have any advice that could help me make a decision? I’d love to hear your advice! Thank you, and wishing you all the very best on your beautiful growing family!
Transitioning to a Liberal University as a Conservative
Hey Brett, hope you're well! I'm an 18 y/o female from the midwest who's definitely conservative - I regularly listen to podcasts like you, Michael Knowles, Candace, etc. I work at Starbucks (I know) and the majority of my friends are liberals so I understand what it's like to be around those with differing views. I recently got accepted into Cornell University for Architecture, and although I'm very excited to begin studying there, I'm worried about not fitting in politically and being in a liberal echo chamber. I know you've discussed your time at UCLA and how that influenced you politically - do you have any tips for finding a conservative crowd or fitting in with others despite these differing views? Do you have any general tips for being a conservative at a liberal university? I do intend to join the Cornell Republicans club when I can to try and find some community there :) Thanks so much!
Becoming a true man
Dear Brett, I 29 years old and at my age, I feel somewhat left behind in the personal development department. I wanted to become a rugged man in my late 20s but most girls I have talked to have said that they see me much more like a teddy bear. Ouch! Also, I have very little idea what masculinity is. I want embrace it, but when I try to define it, it becomes blurry. I want to become mutch similar to one of my heroes, Teddy Roosevelt. Brett, I must ask: what exactly makes a man masculine and how can I become a rugged and good man?
Would You Come to Patriot Academy?
Dear Brett, So, I know I've asked this three times before, but my question is: would you please come to visit Patriot Academy?! We have multiple young person programs that would give you hope for the next generation - these kids are major based (and mostly homeschooled!) - but obviously it's our self-defense instruction that you would get the biggest kick out of! We have the BEST gun ranges in Texas, the BEST gun instructors in the nation, and the BEST self-defense instruction in the world! I know how much you love gun ranges, and you and Alex would get so much from our amazing staff and program! We’re based in Texas, so it was really cool to see you at your live show in Austin, and you have multiple fans here at PA! If you want to see a rising generation of leaders and shoot guns all day, come visit Patriot Academy!
The medium you mentioned on Shawn Ryan
Hey Brett, this isn’t really a question but I was thinking back to your Shawn Ryan podcast episode where you mentioned that your mom went to a medium in New York to try and find some closure with your brother, and I think the medium she saw was John Edwards. I remember reading an excerpt from his book where he interviewed Aaliyah’s mother (who’s also named Diane) after her passing, and it was basically the same process that you were explaining where you don’t tell him who you are or who you are trying to connect with, and he didn’t know who he connected with until after the session and he went over it with his assistant. If I remember correctly, he thought she was trying to connect with a 9/11 victim, as the spirit mentioned a big boom, and something flying, and aaliyah passed in a plane crash about 2 weeks before 9/11. I think im just rambling on here and idk if this would help at all, but I think this is just me trying to justify my doom scrolling lol. Also if you’re interested in the book, it’s called after life.
How do I do I forgive my mentally ill mom?
Hi Brett, Thank you so much for everything you do! I am 19 years old, and I live with my parents, going to college in the same town I grew up in. My mom had a psychotic break when I was in high school, due to hormonal imbalances and early onset menopause. She never fully recovered, and refuses to take her medication that would mend her hormones and get her back on track. I haven’t had a real conversation with her in years, even though I see her everyday, and it feels like I never really knew her. This has affected my entire family. I am the oldest of ten kids, and I have watched my dad reach the point of despair. I see my mom every day, and I’m struggling to forgive her for the awful things she’s said to me, and for refusing to take her medicine. She says the craziest things, and she’s very suspicious of everyone around her. I know you have a brother who is this way, so I’m wondering, how do you forgive someone who can’t help their condition, but also has said and done horrible things to you?
How To Avoid Getting Emotionally Attached In Romantic Relationships
Hi Brett, I wanted to ask your advice on how to avoid getting emotionally attached in romantic relationships? I am 25 years old, have never dated or been on a singular date, and my dream in life since I was 4 years old has been to be a stay at home wife and mother, like my mom. Sometimes it scares me to think when I start meeting men that interest me and dating I'll get emotionally attached too quickly if they check off some important boxes, but before we've left the talking stage, and really know each other. What helped you when dating Alex? I am willing to be get hurt by opening up and being vulnerable in what I want and believe, but what is the best way to keep myself from getting excited too quickly or letting my imagination run away with me? I don't want my dreams to cloud my judgement or miss red flags if we relate on some important issues, such as religion, lifestyle, family and health but before we have none each other long. Also, sometimes I fear men only telling me what I want to hear and hiding who they really care until it's too late. I have a co worker who that happened to and it ended in a messy divorce. Please help!
Will You Come Visit Patriot Academy?
Dear Brett, So, I know I've asked this twice before, but my question is: would you please come to visit Patriot Academy?! We have multiple young person programs that would give you hope for the next generation - these kids are major based (and mostly homeschooled!) - but obviously it's our self-defense instruction that you would get the biggest kick out of! We have the BEST gun ranges in Texas, the BEST gun instructors in the nation, and the BEST self-defense instruction in the world! I know how much you love gun ranges, and you and Alex would get so much from our amazing staff and program! If you want to see a rising generation of leaders and shoot guns all day, come visit Patriot Academy! We’re based in Texas, and it was really cool to see you at your live show in Austin!
Capable but Unmotivated
Dear Brett, Mazel tov on your baby boy! In my "very humble" opinion you are going to be an amazing mother. I wish you Alex and baby the best. I wanted to ask your advice on the following. I have never been considered a "school person". I'm in high school, I have a lot of friends who are in advanced classes and I don't feel bad because of my grades(which are sometimes lower than theirs), but just how they pity me when I don't do as well. I am mature enough to not feel bad because of my actual grades, but it bothers me how my peers and teachers underestimate because they think I can't do better. I have an amazing school unfortunately I got stuck in classes significantly below my level, this causes me to become unmotivated and as a result do worse in those classes. I know I will go far in life, I have a job in sales at an age where most my age people don't even consider that an option. You went through some interesting career things I wanted to know if you had any advice for me? You should be blessed with a life filled with prosperity and happiness. Your show is exactly what so many need to hear, thank you for your time and effort. Thank You! -Esti:)
New school year and I need help making friends.
Hi Brett! It's me again, the 12-year-old girl who just turned 13. I now need help with something else. As you probably know, summer break is here and the school year has ended. My class this year consisted of a mix of 7th and 8th graders, and the 8th graders are about to transition to high school. I’ll be in 8th grade next year, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I'm going to make friends. The 8th graders really brought life to the class with their kindness, wisdom, and sense of humor and my best friend is leaving for home school. This class is really special to me because I've had hard times with my 4th-6th grade years in DODEA where they taught woke stuff and I now go to a classical Christian school. I've been able to share my conservative views without being bullied for it. I was wondering if you have any advice. My questions really are, how can I bring the same kind of joy and leadership to the new 7th graders next year that the 8th graders brought to me? And, How can I make genuine friends? Also, CONGRATS!!! I bet you are going to be a great mother! You got this 13-year-old's approval.
New school year and I need help making friends.
Hi Brett! It's me again, the 12-year-old girl who just turned 13. I now need help with something else. As you probably know, summer break is here and the school year has ended. My class this year consisted of a mix of 7th and 8th graders, and the 8th graders are transitioning to high school. I’ll be in 8th grade next year, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I'm going to make friends. The 8th graders brought life to the class with their kindness, wisdom, and sense of humor and my best friend is leaving for home school. This class is special to me because I've had hard times with my 4th-6th grade years in DODEA where they taught woke stuff and I now go to a classical Christian school. I've been able to share my conservative views without being bullied for it. I was wondering if you have any advice. My questions are, how can I bring the same kind of joy and leadership to the new 7th graders next year that the 8th graders brought to me? And, How can I make genuine friends? Also, CONGRATS!!! I bet you are going to be a great mother! You got this 13-year-old's approval!
Difficult, but probably eventually necessary topic of discussion
Hello. This might be a difficult topic, but I hope you can find a way to answer anyway. You also don't seem to be too afraid to talk about it, even though it is obviously difficult, and I admire that so much about you. I just wanted to ask about something that relates to your connection with schizophrinea. I also wanted to start with some context, so you might understand why I care about the topic. I deal with psychosis, without delusion, and even that can be scary, frustrating, and confusing for me, but also the people around me, so thank you so much for trying to understand and being willing to stick around your brother, as much as you can, even when its hard, because I know what its like to lose people over these situations. I know you probably don't plan to leave your baby with your brother by themselves, but I hope he at least gets to meet him or her sometime. I can also forsee his behavior being confusing for your baby as he or she gets a little older, because even when he isn't having a psychotic break, there still might be some symptoms. Have you thought much about how you will eventually try to explain schizophrinea, in a way your child can understand? I know a lot of people might be tempted to avoid the topic, but I also feel like you aren't the kind of person to stray away from scary or confusing topics. I also feel like with any form of disability, the less someone knows about it, the scarier, more confusing, and more taboo the disability, and in turn the disabled person becomes. That can especially be the case with invisible, and especially psychiatric disabilities, because you can't see it to really understand how things are different for that person, and therefore why that person acts differently and/or has different needs. Anyway, what are your plans, if any (no shame if not, because I wouldn't even know where to begin, hints why I'm asking) to explain to your baby, why his or her uncle seems different and possibly lives differently than others? Again, it probably won't matter for a while, but even a two year old probably has some awareness. And thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart for not completly running away from your brother, when things got hard. You're so amazing and I love you so much!
Is it ever okay to cut off family members for being “woke?”
For the sake of time (and word count), I’m going to try to consolidate this as best as I can. I’m the youngest of four; I do not currently have any relationship with two of my older siblings (by their own choosing). They both up and left the country recently (one left 6 months ago, the other left 3 weeks ago. I’m fairly certain they’re not both in the same country), without telling us beforehand. They will not disclose where they are to anyone else in the family since we all voted for Trump and are “white supremacist.” They have both said they will not speak to us again until they return to the states when Trump is out of office. I’m currently doing what I can to help my mother through a state of depression; my parents have had many sleepless nights agonizing over where they are. They are now planning to move closer to me, my husband, and our three sons (which I’m not complaining about!). They have lived in the same, small town for 30 years, and though they love their community, they want to be closer to their grandchildren. My dad feels the move is also needed for their mental health, as they live in somewhat of a fishbowl given everything with my siblings. All that being said, I don’t think I should attempt to continue any sort of relationship with my siblings when they come back. They both have fallen victim to woke ideology (one of them, my only brother, is transgender, and the other is a radical feminist), and after seeing what my parents have been subjected to, I don’t want to entertain the thought of ever speaking to them again. It’s also been quite scarring for me to see my brother now appear like, sound like, and insist, that he’s my “sister.” All that being said, I fear that completely cutting them out would possibly limit any opportunity for them to heal in the future, or reconnect with one of the only family members they have left. I know that “cancel culture” has overall been a net negative on society, but I also believe I have an obligation to protect my sons from these harmful ideologies. What are your thoughts? Would you consider this to be a healthy boundary? Also, welcome to the “boy mom” club! Sending prayers to you and your family! **Coming back to edit this - please pray for my town of Coeur d’Alene!!!**
Struggling to discover faith
Hi Brett! I’m so excited to see your upcoming show in Dallas in a few days! I grew up in Northern California with an agnostic, if not atheists, family. I’ve pretty much fallen in the agnostic belief all my life. When my aunt passed away there was a moment that I didn’t think that I would be able to attend the funeral. I had to travel 2+ hours to the funeral home and my car had broken down. I’d essentially prayed that if I could just make it to her funeral that I’d “do anything even go to church”. I made this promise and I am struggling to follow through. I still don’t know if I believe in God but I want to uphold my promise. I was in such a dark place when making it and the fact I was able to go and say goodbye - it’s important I follow through. What advice could you give me in picking a church? I know I will eventually go. Truthfully, I’m just so intimidated by picking one and just don’t know how to start.I want my choice to mean something not just going to uphold my promise. How have you chosen your own churches when you’ve moved cities? If any other members have advice, it’s appreciated too! I’m honestly a deer in headlights.
Farm Start Up
Hey Brett, My name is Juliette and I'm from Australia (also more than welcome to come and do a show here if you want haha). I was wondering if you had any advice on starting a farm. Did you guys come across challenges when starting yours and how did you overcome them? I'm aspiring to have a farm, and think it's a great environment to raise kids however don't really know where to start and not sure how I could juggle nursing and running a farm. Thank you :D
The Person I Struggle To Be
What would you say to someone who’s drawn to everything you stand for — the values, the clarity, the conviction — but feels like becoming that person would mean betraying how they were raised or who people expect them to be? I’m 19, and I was raised in a very liberal family, in a very liberal world, and I go to a very liberal college. I was brought up with the complete opposite values. For some context I was not raised as a Christian and I’m 19 and grew up abroad. But now that I’m out in the world and growing, I find myself pulled toward your worldview more and more — even when parts of it still don’t sit right in my gut yet. It feels like I can’t just come out and support all these things I’ve been so against for so long without alienating everyone I know — friends, family, my entire environment. But I want to figure this out honestly. Thank you for being someone I can look to in the process.
Boundaries in Acting
Hi Brett! My question is actually about your time as an actor! What kind of boundaries did you have in place for yourself as an actor given your conservative values? Were there certain roles that you would turn down based on what they wanted you to do our say how did this impact your career, did you feel that upholding these boundaries ended up serving you well in the long run?
Your Maternity Leave Plans
Hi Brett, I'm very excited for your baby boy to get here.(A mini Alex) I'm wondering what your Maternity leave plan looks like? It’s important that you as a new mom spend a lot of time with your newborn so I'm curious, will you be prerecording content(maybe some farm stuff or interviews ?), having a guest host, or going radio silent, which selfishly is the option I like the least but would totally understand. Thanks for reading this! EDIT: I went to both of your Austin shows and you were so funny I had the most amazing time. Thanks for signing my hat! Please add a PNW stop on the next tour so I don't have to fly lol.
Estranged father, and struggle to change my name
Dear Brett, First of all, thank you for sharing parts of your difficult relationship with your father growing up. Even though our stories differ, I so much related to your feeling growing up of ‘needing to break the cycle’ , especially in a world where us girls with "daddy issues" are almost expected to be unable to grow a healthy relationship - while this was actually my drive make it happen. Seeing part of my story in yours, and how beautifully your life is flourishing has sparked hope in me- and I hope it will in many more people too! My parents divorced when I was a toddler due to violent circumstances and I’ve barely seen my father outside courtrooms. I have both my parents surnames but I’ve always only signed with my mother’s surname and this is also my ‘artist name’. Still, I’ve always hesitated to officially remove his surname, concerned I’d be disrespectful , or that I’d be erasing a part of my story, whether I like it or not. I have just gotten engaged to my college sweetheart, the most amazing man who has erased all the traces of cynicism towards marriage and relationships that I had earlier in my childhood! I have been struggling with the idea of substituting my father’s surname for my husband’s after we marry (my mother’s surname remaining as my artist name) but I still wonder if it would be wrong. Did you ever struggle with having your father’s surname, or anything like this while growing up? And would you have any advice that could help me make a decision? I’d love to hear your advice! Thank you, and wishing you all the very best on your beautiful growing family! P.S. I thought I should update my question, I’ve realised it might seem odd due to cultural differences :) In my country people have multiple surnames, and we don’t use only the husband’s surname. Normally a woman’s name after marriage would include at least one or both of her parents surnames plus the husband’s, and that is the choice that I am currently contemplating.
The Man I Refuse to Be
I’m in a strange situation—I look exactly like my grandfather, almost like a carbon copy. Usually, that wouldn’t be a problem, but in my case, it’s complicated. Without going into too much detail, he did some really bad things to me when I was a kid. He’s not a good person in general. Bad things happen, and you move on. I don’t carry trauma from what happened, but I inherited his face and anger. This has given me an irrational fear: that I might somehow become like him. I've worked hard to deal with this. I’ve learned to control my anger, developed strong morals, made i have a good moral base. I don't act out on my anger or bad impulses and try to be a caring and good person. I've even kept a beard since I was 16, just because he never did. But despite all that effort, a single comment about how much I look like him or sometimes a look in the mirror can shatter all my progress. And I’m not usually someone who gets hurt or offended by others’ opinions. No matter what I do, the fear creeps up time to time. I hate that feeling. It’s something I can’t control, and logically, it shouldn’t affect me, but it does. Imagine seeing the face of the person you’re desperately trying not to become in the mirror, it’s a horrifying experience.
My liberal friend
So I have a small friend group that I'm talking about, me (17) and my friend Vivian (fake name) are conservatives. At the same time our friend "Anna" (fake name) is a liberal. We have no problem with this but my and my friend are worried for her. for context we are all in high school Vivian and Anna are girls and I am a male. She has openly expressed Ideas that we see many modern woman openly support. She doesn't seem keen on waiting till marriage and is open to the idea of waiting till after high school, she is a bit alarmingly open about sexual details with her friends including me. As much as they make me uncomfortable I try to listen because I feel that me and Vivian are the only voices of reason in her life that want to turn her away from something like this. I know divorces rates go up the more relations you have with people before you are married and I don't want to see that happen to her. I don't want this to be a two part question but on top of that me and Vivian are having a hard time bringing her to become more Intune with her faith as she say's she is a "lukewarm" Christian. She believes in abortion and a lot of things like that and her younger sister seems to have depression and anxiety and I believe this has to do with her mother openly telling her sister about sex when she was barely 6 years old. Me and Vivian love this girl to death and don't want anything bad to happen to her but we don't know what to do. Making her conservative is a pet project but we genuinely want to see her tap into her faith and the parts of conservativism that are conducive to a healthy life. Its also hard because our state Washington is so liberal the school only gets in our way. Maybe you could move your farm up here and make Washington Red again. Jokes aside I would really appreciate your help, thanks for the time
Brett! Will you help me in my love story???
Brett!!! I came across the instagram profile of a girl who seems to have a heart for the things of God. I have been praying and am still praying for my wife. She has about 30k followers so all I am asking for is that you help me in getting her attention. I've tried dm'ing her but she might not ever see it with that many followers. I want to get to know her. What do you need from me to make this happen??
How To Avoid Getting Emotionally Attached In Romantic Relationships
Hi Brett, I wanted to ask your advice on how to avoid getting emotionally attached in romantic relationships? I am 25 years old, have never dated or been on a singular date, and my dream in life since I was 4 years old has been to be a stay at home wife and mother, like my mom. Sometimes it scares me to think when I start meeting men that interest me and dating I'll get emotionally attached too quickly if they check off some important boxes, but before we've left the talking stage, and really know each other. What helped you when dating Alex? I am willing to be get hurt by opening up and being vulnerable in what I want and believe, but what is the best way to keep myself from getting excited too quickly or letting my imagination run away with me? I don't want my dreams to cloud my judgement or miss red flags if we relate on some important issues, such as religion, lifestyle, family and health but before we have none each other long. Also, sometimes I fear men only telling me what I want to hear and hiding who they really care until it's too late. I have a co worker who that happened to and it ended in a messy divorce. Please help!