Any advice for an incoming conservative student at an Ivy League and college in general?
Hi Brett! I’m an 18 year old girl from Wisconsin heading to college next year. I’m deeply conservative and have become more conservative in the last two years or so, but I’m especially worried about what the college scene will look like. I feel like American universities are so far to the left nowadays that it’s impossible to be conservative on campus. On top of this, I’m actually attending Cornell University, so one of the most liberal colleges in the country. I fully plan to join the conservative/republican club there but I’m just unsure how I’ll fit in. I currently work at Starbucks (lol) so I’m used to being in environments where my opinions aren’t shared, but I feel like this is an entirely new level. So, I’m looking for any advice here - how do I not get berated, and how do I find my crowd at an Ivy? Should I just shut up? Thanks 🫶🏻
Should I push or just let things work there way out ?
Let me start by saying Congratulations on bring a little brett into the world!.. Kids only have one problem, They grow up to fast... So here is my question if you wish to answer it.. Lets start out by saying I am 58 and love your opinions on life in general and if I had a daughter I would hope she would have some of your same thoughts, however I have a 21 year old son. So a bit of a background for a proper answer.. He is in a good College ( No protest crap that I know of) and has a job as well in his future field that he does like. Never been in trouble, Does not smoke anything, Does not like drinking at all.. And is usually the driver if he ever goes out. And that is where my question comes in, He does not have a girlfriend, He does not talk about girls at all, he even went to Itally for 40 days last summer with a bunch including 12 girls and nothing happened. I have asked and looked into that he is not gay. So with him being the case he is a great kid that calls me at least 5 times a week just to hang on the phone and talk I do not know how to bring up or push him to get going on a relationship. So should I , or should I just let it be what it is ? Any thoughts?>?
Should I push or just let things work there way out ?
So here is my question if you wish to answer it.. Lets start out by saying I am 58 and love your opinions on life in general and if I had a daughter I would hope she would have some of your same thoughts, however I have a 21 year old son. So a bit of a background for a proper answer.. He is in a good College ( No protest crap that I know of) and has a job as well in his future field that he does like. Never been in trouble, Does not smoke anything, Does not like drinking at all.. And is usually the driver if he ever goes out. And that is where my question comes in, He does not have a girlfriend, He does not talk about girls at all, he even went to Itally for 40 days last summer with a bunch including 12 girls and nothing happened. I have asked and looked into that he is not gay. So with him being the case he is a great kid that calls me at least 5 times a week just to hang on the phone and talk I do not know how to bring up or push him to get going on a relationship. So should I , or should I just let it be what it is ? Any thoughts?>?
How did you approach single life?
Hi Brett, I just joined Cooper Confidential this week. Really hoping to meet some cool people this way. I'm twenty-two, just graduated college, and living alone in California trying to make my way. As someone who longs to be a mother and wife, I enjoy my life now by pursuing a career, staying active, also lots of hobbies, but just feel like I'm helplessly waiting for my life to change by meeting the right guy to really get where I want to be in life. I know a lot of people meet their partner's in college, but that didn't happen to me. I want to keep putting myself out there but everything is so intimidating for a girl living on her own. What got you through your single life?
Dating advice
Hi brett! I met this guy who im interested in getting to know better (for context: im a senior, he just graduated). Im not sure how he feels about me but he’s shown interest in some of our conversations (without saying anything straight out). I want to message him and let him know im interested but I have no idea what to say since i dont know him very well. I dont want to sound too forward but I also dont want to beat around the bush/waste my time. Also congrats on the baby! You’ll be a fantastic mom!!
Birth Control?
Hi Brett! Congratulations on your pregnancy! When I was 20 I was about half way through my journalism degree and I got pregnant with an IUD. Discovering so, removing it and keeping the pregnancy was all traumatic. They are supposed to 99% effective, and sometimes I think im still not over the shock and subsequent endless internal exams. I’m turning 22 soon and happier than ever with my son. But I still feel conflicted on ever using birth control again, like it just wont work. Is abstinence the best play here? Especially when I desperately want to continue my education.
What would have changed your parents marriage?
Hi Brett, I listened to you talk about your parents marriage on the Iced Coffee Hour. In your opinion, what would have needed to change in your parents marriage for it to survive? My marriage sounds somewhat similar in that I am "too dominant" and my husband is "too sensitive" and I have been the breadwinner for our entire marriage (going on 6 years). When we got married there was an understanding that I would be able to stay home with the kids at some point after my husband finished grad school. Unfortunately, my husband has been in and out of school and can't seem to settle on a career path. He is also extremely sensitive to shame and gets defensive when I try to talk about his plans for the future. Counseling has helped me communicate my needs and be okay with those needs not being met, and I'm trying to stop comparing my relationship to others...but my ears always perk up when I hear of similar dynamics and would love to hear any musings you are willing to share, having watched your parents dynamic and navigated yourself to a better one.
How do I talk to people part 2
Howdy Mrs. Brett. It's me again with a similar question as before. I'm going to give a little better explanation as to why I'm asking this. I have a tendency to be very blunt and honest with folks and most folks, especially of the women variety, have a real problem with that and I usually scare them away unintentionally. I'm also very dark humored. I make jokes about race, disabilities, death, destruction, and even suicide. It's the way I grew up. As my Dad says," you can either laugh about it and move on, or cry and die early". With that mind set, I also have a belief system that I have been told on countless occasions died in the 1800s. Because of all of this, I have no friends. I never really cared for having friends or being around people in general, but as of the past couple years, I have decided that it would be nice to start a family, and it's pretty hard to do that when you don't know how to talk to people without scaring them away after they've gotten to know you more than a couple days. I'm generally a nice guy and don't talk much, but when I do, that's when people get scared away. So, how do I talk to people without being awkward, creepy, and completely honest, until they get to know me well enough to know the darker side of me is just for humor purposes? Hopefully you can make sense of my rambling
Is It Still Possible to Change the Future of Education?
Hi Brett, I'm a 26-year-old teacher from Mexico. I never wanted to become a teacher — in fact, I wanted to be anything but a teacher. But God or destiny had different plans for me, I guess. Now, I'm a teacher at an elementary school here in Mexico, and I love it. I've realized that kids are more complex than I thought. They face real problems, and social media, influencers, YouTubers, TikTok, and Instagram aren't helping at all to shape them into people with a better future with good values. I feel like parents don't care about education anymore. They see school more like a daycare. In other words, I feel that the relationship between parents and schools is broken. So I wanted to ask you: do you think it's a good idea to build an educational platform for kids and parents? The kids would have class-style videos, and the parents would have videos teaching them how to raise their children. The idea is still a work in progress, but I truly want a brighter future for the kids — and to restore the image of teachers. Here in Mexico, being a teacher is often seen as a failure (and we don’t get paid well either, hehe).
Is it bad to want to wait for kids?
Hey Brett! This question might be a little difficult to answer since you’re expecting, but it made me think. My wife and I got married in December, and since we live in a rather small apartment and sometimes have difficulty getting financial needs met even with both of us working, I’ve wanted to wait to have kids until things feel more steady for us. My wife is 23 and I’m 24 so thankfully her biological clock has many more years left . . . but despite that, sometimes I feel a little bit like the party pooper who always shuts her down about having kids right away (though I do want them). Mostly I’m just worried that I’ll still be saying “we should wait” even when finances and living space are no longer tight. Did you and Alex have any of the same worries or wonderings or am I just stressing too much about it?
Struggling With Fear About Motherhood Despite Wanting a Family
Hi Brett! A while back, you made an episode of The Comments Section titled “Gen Z is Intentionally Vilifying Motherhood” where you talked about the girl with “the list” and how it basically became a trend on social media to complain about pregnancy, motherhood, and kids in general. I related to that episode so much. I’d noticed the same thing — so much of the content online makes having kids look scary, miserable, or like the end of your life. Even though I’ve always dreamed of having a family, all that negativity started to get to me and made me question if I actually wanted kids, and if maybe all those voices were right. Now that I’m in a different stage of life and married, my husband and I know we want children — hopefully soon. But I still feel scared and unsure if I’ll ever truly feel “ready.” All that noise from our modern, anti-family culture still lingers in the back of my mind, and it’s hard not to internalize it. I’d love to hear your perspective: how did you know you were ready for this next chapter? Do you ever struggle with doubts or fears around motherhood, even though you know it’s something you want? What’s your advice for getting past that mental roadblock? Thank you for your advice — and congratulations on your growing family! I can’t wait to see your show in Atlanta!
How Do I Handle the Pain of Something Ending?
Hi Brett! It's me again, the 12-year-old girl who asked for help making friends. I now need help with something else. As you probably know, summer break is coming up and the school year is ending. My class this year was a mix of 7th and 8th graders, and the 8th graders are about to move on to high school. I’ll be in 8th grade next year, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how much of an impact the 8th graders made on me. They really brought life to the class with their kindness, wisdom, and sense of humor. This class is really special to me because I've had hard times with my 4th-6th grade years in DODEA where they taught woke stuff and I now go to a classical Christian school. I've been able to share my conservative values without being bullied for it. I was wondering if you have any advice. My questions really are, how can I bring the same kind of joy and leadership to the new 7th graders next year that the 8th graders brought to me? And, How can I make the most of these last days with the 8th graders before we say goodbye?
How Do I Handle the Pain of Something Ending?
Hi Brett! It's me again, the 12-year-old girl who asked for help making friends. I now need help with something else. As you probably know, summer break is coming up and the school year is ending. My class this year was a mix of 7th and 8th graders, and the 8th graders are about to move on to high school. I’ll be in 8th grade next year, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how much of an impact the 8th graders made on me. They really brought life to the class with their kindness, wisdom, and sense of humor. This class is really special to me because I've had hard times with my 4th-6th grade years in DODEA where they taught woke stuff and I now go to a classical Christian school. I've been able to share my conservative views without being bullied for it. I was wondering if you have any advice. My questions really are, how can I bring the same kind of joy and leadership to the new 7th graders next year that the 8th graders brought to me? And, How can I make the most of these last days with the 8th graders before we say goodbye?
Managing adulthood and the attainment of a stable career
Hi Brett, congratulations on the baby! Your videos have always been very inspiring not only in the sense that you have helped me build what I think is a more balanced perspective when looking at common issues among conservatives and those on the opposing side, but you have also been an outstanding example to the younger generation in your strengths and constant cheerful personality. That said, my question more so leans toward how do you style your routine and/or what did/do you do to maintain a healthy lifestyle as a young adult and what do you recommend for those of the younger generation (early adulthood) that struggle with issues like self-esteem and sort of the unknown where it concerns young adults having certain things they would like to pursue as a career, but do not exactly connect with it as much? My family tends to be very traditional in the sense that it is commonly encouraged to attend college and university, get a master’s degree, etc., but then I also feel like I am the only one who’s lost in the sense of not knowing what to go for while those around me seem to know confidently what they desire, which has made me doubt if I am perhaps doing enough research or such. Thank you for listening!
How to enjoy transitional periods of life
Hi Brett! HUGE congrats on your pregnancy!!! So so so excited for you and Alex to enter this new chapter of life! I too am about to start a new chapter, as I’m about to graduate college! I’m currently applying to PA school, but will be moving home for a gap year to make and save money before hopefully going to school again. I was wondering if you had any advice on how I can keep life interesting during this somewhat transitional period. A lot of my friends are moving to big cities together, my boyfriend is literally moving across the globe to New Zealand, and while I recognize the economic and familial benefits of living at home, it definitely feels less glamorous and exciting and a little more lonely. I’ll be working full-time so won’t have oodles of free time, but would love any advice you have in regards to not getting stuck in a rut and to retain the joy of everyday life!
In need of adventure
Dear Brett, I have mentioned in a previous question that I an 29 years oldsnd recently moved out of my mom's home, as well as thar I have experienced homelessness in the past. However, didn't mention how starved I have felt for adventure. When I was 12 years old, I wanted to become a Navy Seal. It was my dream. I wanted to do what only 1% of people in the world can do, but needless to say, this didn't happen. Instead, I watched as many people my age went off the travel the world, do amazing work, and have grand adventures that will live with them forever. I on the other hand, lost all my rights to a guardianship, had sevel dead end jobs, became homeless after running away from home, and only got the guardianship terminated after living on the streets fit 2 years. I'm almost 30 and I feel like I would have to choose between having a family and having adventures. Am I too old? What should I do? I don't want die at 90 years old full of regrets. Thank you as always. You’re amazing.
The Girl Down The Hall
Im 17 and I just won my petition for emancipation in the state of Washington my mother and father were heavy drinkers and I left my own home were I live with my associate pastor and her family. (her husband, her son and her daughter.) my problem is this, while I came to live with them in January four months before I won my case, before I left home I found feelings for their daughter. She's tremendous kind hearted person who loves god more then her own life. my problem is this. Ever since living here I have had a hard time dealing with what I feel it is a betrayal of the people who gave me a home when I lost my own one. While at the same time I had feelings for her before coming here. If I had another option of a place to stay I would take it but they are all I have. I've not made any move and i have tried to stay away from anything that could be romantic until i can get some advice from someone who knows more then I do. Part of my problem comes from the fact I cant even tell what's going on in her head and I dare not ask her outright. I cant tell if she feels the same or anything only that we seem to slowly be getting closer. During my time in court her father was the only person who showed up to be there when i never asked or said anything and over these months has been a better father to me then my own. After hearing about your own emancipation i know you understand in great detail what i might have had to go through forgive me if this is the wrong place to comment. Thanks for the time and sorry for the essay.
How Do I Handle a Bad Crush?
Dear Brett, Thank you so much for all you do! The level of effort and care you put into your work for us is so inspiring and deeply appreciated! So, to start, I'm a 25-year-old guy who really wants to get married, but I've been having trouble lately with getting crushes on the wrong girls. I certainly have a type, but they're never interested, and I understand having patience and working on myself to prepare for the right girl, but it's difficult, since the absence of a partner is POTENT sometimes! Unfortunately, my latest crush is a girl with whom I work. She's a Christian Conservative and a friend, but it's fairly clear we just don't click romantically. Obviously I can't quit my job, (nor would I want to! My work is amazing!) but seeing her almost every day, even knowing we wouldn't be compatible, makes it hard to not be distracted. I have an obsessive, OCD brain, and have to stop myself from imagining asking her out, or being disappointed when she's absent. I keep trying to firmly tell myself all the reasons why I shouldn't pursue anything, but the emotional side of me refuses to listen! So in short, how do I best handle a crush that I know won't work, but can't help my attractions?
Will You Come to a Patriot Academy Gun Class?
Dear Brett, So, of COURSE, congratulations to you and Alex! You guys will be awesome parents, and we look forward to seeing your new bundle of joy come into the world! So, I know I've asked this twice before, but my question is: would you please come to visit Patriot Academy?! We have multiple young person programs that would give you hope for the next generation - these kids are major based (and mostly homeschooled!) - but obviously it's our self-defense instruction that you would get the biggest kick out of! We have the BEST gun ranges in Texas, the BEST gun instructors in the nation, and the BEST self-defense instruction in the world! I know how much you love gun ranges, and you and Alex would get so much from our amazing staff and program! If you want to see a rising generation of leaders and shoot guns all day, come visit Patriot Academy! We’re based in Texas, so I will certainly be coming to your show in Austin! See you then!
Surviving Life
Hi Brett! Congratulations on your pregnancy. I was thinking of saying along the lines of hoping your child grows up to be blessed, but I thought I might fumble over my words and sound like Luca Brasi from the Godfather. 😅 Anyway, I wanted to give you a brief history of my life and ask some advice: I was born 2 weeks early with jaundice and had to spend time under bilirubin lights before leaving the hospital. The doctor also discovered that I have Hereditary Spherocytosis, a fairly rare blood disorder that causes the red blood cells too round to carry oxygen well. It can cause gall stones, kidney stones (both of which I've had), and an enlarged spleen. My gall bladder has been removed and my spleen may need to be removed as well. 1 day shy of me be 7 weeks old, I was in a car wreck on black ice that caused a depressed skull fracture. Baby seats weren't as protective as they are now. I was ambulanced to Winston Salem 90 miles away for emergency neurosurgery. The neurosurgeon said to my pediatrician, "I was dismayed at the loss of brain during surgery." The result was that I had a fist-sized portion of my occipital lobe, causing me to lose the left visual field of each eye. I also had a seizure during the operation, so I was prescribed phenobarbital (also used as tranquilizer) to be taken 4x daily until 6th grade. My mother, who was a Cosmetologist, quit her job at the beauty salon to work in the school system and get me the help I needed for school. I don't think home schooling was as popular at the time. Anyway, in 1st grade I had surgery to fix a lazy eye. Around 3rd grade, my mother brought home homework from 6th grade for me to complete because I had bad grades. Since I completed the work, she saw that I had the intelligence, but the phenobarbital slowed me down and I couldn't finish class assignments in time. In 4th grade, my father was killed by a speeding teenager. My mom took the death really hard and prayed for another husband. 11 months later, she married a widower who went to the same church and whose wife was killed by a drunk driver. So now, there was my mom, stepfather, older brother (by 3 years), older stepsister (by 7 years), and older stepbrother (by 10 years). The stepbrother was already at college when they married. He dropped out of college and wrote my mother a nasty letter. Eventually, we found out that he had been assaulted in high school by a coach. Since then, he has been in and out of mental hospitals. Now, he lives with his mother's side of the family. My stepsister married a boyfriend who joined the Marines. His side of the family is really controlling and my parents didn't want to compete with them, but we made efforts to see them. Last time we saw them before my stepfather died, we didn't even recognize them. As far as what happened to me, I stopped taking phenobarbital and started getting good grades despite my visual impairment. I was recognized in 8th grade as most improved grades, and I graduated high school as an NC Scholar. Then, I went to UNC Greensboro and graduated with a BS in Biology and Minor in Chemistry. I had started as pre-med but changed my mind after working in the psyche area of t he hospital getting my CNA Certification. After college, I went to work for LabCorp as a Laboratory Technologist. I worked my way up to Sr Lab Tech, then Team Leader and then bounced around departments a little. In 2020, I started getting an increase of migraines while working nightshift. Then, Christmas 2020, I got COVID-19, and it seems that I have had Long COVID, Chronic Fatigue (ME/CFS), and/or Fibromyalgia ever since. I go to Primary Care, Pain Specialist, Migraine Specialist, Sleep Specialist (Sleep Apnea), Opthalmology, Podiatrist (extremely flat feet), Wellness Doctor, Gastroenterologist, andothers I can't remember right now. I take medicine for depression, stomach, nerve pain, anxiety, migraines, Fibromyalgia pain, Chronic Fatigue, Low Testosterone, and more. I have been off and on Short-term Disability since 2021, and I feel like management wants to fire me. I go back to work May 27th. I've told them about my vision and other medical conditions, but they remember how hard I worked before my migraines and COVID, and they tell me they know what I am capable of. I have struggled my entire life to just keep up. I am now 48 and so tired. I was hoping to get a supervisor position so that I didn't have to work in the lab on my feet all day. That never worked out. I don't know where to go from here. I believe that the Lord has a plan, but I can't seem to figure out where I fit in. I don't want permanent disability. I worked too hard to get where I am and so did people like my mom. Is there some sort of path you can see for me that I cannot see myself? BTW, you can use any or all of this post if you answer me in Dear Brett. Part of the reason I went into such detail is so that you can see Parallels between our lives, and you have some understanding of where I'm coming from. Thanks for your time, and sorry for the dangling participles. 😅
Pulling the trigger
Hi Brett, congratulations on baby! Such an exciting season, my heart is so happy for you and your family. You have been so gracious to answer my question previously- so if you want to skip me this time around no worries! I’m the 24 year old female attorney (BossBabeCurse) struggling through suburban life. Thanks to your advice my husband and I did talk about our “off ramp” for my corporate legal career. That looked more like a 5 year plan, until this month. Context, my husband and I both grew up in the rust belt on farms, we were both homeschooled. We want that life for our children, or at least some aspects of it. There are definitely some drawbacks. My parents have a second home on their property that they rent out that is opening up. If we moved there this would allow us to move back to rural America save enough that I could stop working and we could start our family, and our farming journey much sooner then we anticipated, and I would get to live near my mom which is a constant dream of mine. The hang up: my husband loves his job. He loves his company. They want to move him remote but not right away. He is a software engineer so he could get another remote job, but we are both struggling with him leaving this one since we love the company and the way they conduct business. My question is for general advice, should we put our family and farming dreams on hold so he can continue to build his corporate career? Or should we take the risk, move back home and figure God will work it out? I love getting an outside perspective, most people in our life love us, but they want us to make a decision based on external details (ie getting grand babies sooner, or staying in the area where we live now longer). Thank you again for your consideration. Have a blessed day!
Recovering Perfectionist
Dear Brett, I'm a young mom of 3 kids and I have a question that pertains to them, me, and probably many people of all ages. I would say I struggle with perfectionist tendencies. They were much worse throughout school and college where I did a lot of theater and music performance (fellow type A theater kid here, lol). I also put a lot of pressure on myself to get perfect grades. These days, I call myself a "recovering perfectionist". I'm often still reluctant to try something new because I know it won't be to the standard that I want. I have been working on this in myself for YEARS, emphasizing progress versus perfection, and am hopeful that my kids won't copy my perfectionist ways, but I also know that kids pick up on everything. More is caught than taught. My question is: How can I help myself and my kids be less fearful of failure? How can we resist perfectionism? I don't want them to ever be fearful of normal things that people need to do in their lives, or afraid to take smart risks. In my head I can hear you saying, "You just have to do it!"
Disagreement
Dear Brett, first of all I wanted to inform you that English is not my mother tongue so please excuse any errors on my part. I have followed you almost since the day you launched The Commments Section. I have always found myself in near complete agreement with you until you published the episode about Trump's first days in office and Zelenskyy. I have recently watched your Iced Coffee Hour interview and I do not think you are aware of the consequences of your rhetoric. I will lay out my disagreements with you in a clear way so you can understand it clearly. 1.You seem to suggest that Zelenskyy is somehow morally wrong for asking America to help him. I do not think this is true here's why. First of all, what would you do in his place, I'm asking seriously. Second and more importantly the US has tried to convince Ukrainians and Eastern Europeans that their allyship to the west is of profound importance to the US security primarily because of Russia. I think this was true because as your president Nixon said in a famous interview in the 1990s that if the ideas of freedom do not succeed in Russia it will pose a mortal danger to the rest of the world because there will be a reversion not to communism which has faild but to "new despotism" which will be infected with russian imperialism, which is what we see now. This level of agression poses a treat especially when combined with nuclear weapons and ICBMs. Furthermore the US foreign policy towards Ukraine was largely to integrate it into NATO to serve as a bulwark against Russia, although this move was seeen as extreamly dangerous by anybody who knew even a little bit about Russia. See wikileak cables video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZMbFt-gplE The US and other countries ignored early warnings and continued the process because Ukraine was seen as a vital to the West. Now I do not have access to the classified material in the US so I dont know what were the calculations but your country in particular miscalculated in particular and played a crucial role in provoking the conflict. So what your country did was: to see 1.Russia as a threat, 2.Seek Ukraine to be an ally against Russia, 3. Ignore warnings from the most senior officials, 4. See the logical conslusion of the past three steps., 5. Send billions of dollars to fix the situation under Biden 6. Say Ukraine is not important you and that you don't want to even fund it because it is too much for you. In humans this kind of erratic would be concerning, but this is the US foreign policy for you. 2. You seen to seriously think that Trump will bring peace. Trump has a strong persona and often exaggerates, but I think that je seriously thougt that he will bring peace with two or three phone calls, but this backfired compleatly. He and anybody else for that matter is not able to bring lasting peace to the region we as a west simply screwed this up loooong time ago and there is no going back. Europe will be at war or threat of war for a long time. 3. You offended America's allies, the real allies. Your rant offended me to the bottom of my hearth and I seriously do not know how to respond. Take the Afghanistan war for example. When the attack was carried out all NATO members agreed that this attack is sufficient to activate article 5 of the treaty. The US was attacked not France, not Germany, not the UK, but the US. We all went to war because of YOU and stayed there for 20 years to replace the taliban with the taliban. 90 French soliders died, 405 British soliders died in an effort to keep you safe. But as we hear from you Brett "it wasn't our responsibility" and we shoud have just ignored you. Now as Europe prepares for war you are brushing us off. Please consider this points and respond how you want. Thank you in advance. If you want me to share more my thoughts, I will Thank you in advance.